To Kiss An Idol

Finally, his two weeks of leave were over, and he came back. He directly came to my house and the moment I opened the door he grabbed me and kissed me with all his passion.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” he said and moved his hands under my shirt and over my breasts.

I pushed him away and looked at him.

“I am sorry,” he pouted. “Are you still angry? Sorry, Ritz.” He hugged me again. Playfully he grabbed my ass and pressed them.

“Stop it!” I shouted.

“Right! I should take a bath and then we will continue this in the bedroom,” he winked.

Another red flag waved before my eyes and this time I could see it. He came to my house thinking about sex. He didn’t miss me, he missed the sex, he missed my body. Not even my anger or my comfortability was visible to him. All he could think about was sex.

I started tearing up. I sat down on the couch and started bawling. He came running from the bathroom after hearing my cries.

.....

“Hey, hey, hey! Ritz! What happened?”

“You only care about my body, not me,” I sobbed.

“What are you talking about? Hey! Look at me. I love you, you, your beautiful heart, your kind nature, your sweet personality. I don’t care about sex. If you want, I will be celibate for years and still live with you,” he said sweetly and wiped my tears. “I am sorry for hurting you.” He grabbed me and hugged me.

I heard the words I wanted to hear. He loved me, not my body. I believed him, what a fool I was. He kissed me again and lifted me in his arms. He took me inside the shower, and we had sex. I used to believe that we always made love, such sweet words, but all we had was sex. Vik and I never made love, we always had sex.

Me being a fool thought everything was back to normal. We started going back to the office together, but he would take leave every now and then to work on his book. There were still no words written on that blank page.

One night I came late from the office, and he was standing at the door fuming with anger.

“Where were you?” he shouted before I could enter my house.

“What?” I asked surprised.

“Why are you late, you didn’t even call me?” he shouted again.

“I told you in the morning that I had a meeting with a client. It just ran long. Sorry could not call you,” I replied casually and hung my bag on the wall.

I moved towards my room to change when he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. He dug his fingers into my skin and gritted, “you could not even message me?”

“I was in the meeting, Vik. How could I message you without looking rude?” I tried to calm him down. I kept pulling my arm out if his hand, but his grip was strong. He kept digging into my skin with frustration.

He was in my face and asked, “was that client handsome?”

“Excuse me!” I shouted at him. “What are you insinuating, Vik?”

His face fell. With a pitiful voice, he murmured, “you are going to leave me for someone else, aren’t you?” he let go of my hand and stood like a broken child before me.

“What are you talking about? Are you out of your mind?” I took his face in my hands and asked, comfortingly.

He threw himself at me and hugged me. “Please never leave me. Marry me, Ritz!”

“Vik!” I gasped.

He broke the embrace and went down on his knees. He looked around and his keyring was lying on the table. He took out the ring from his keychain and placed the ring on my fingers. “Here, I am officially proposing to you. Marry me. Be my wife, make me your husband. Let me live in your heart forever. The moment I saw you, Ritz, I knew I wanted you in my life. I used to secretly stare at you when we were in college. My crush was never hidden from you. I always wished that you would talk to me, look at me. Now, my dream is coming true. I want to grow old with you, no matter what our parents say. I will never ever leave you and I wish that you won’t leave me too. Never leave me Ritz, say you will marry me.”

He looked at me with sad eyes waiting for my answer. I smiled and jumped with happiness. “Yes, I will marry you. I definitely will marry you.” He stood up immediately, hugged me and kissed me.

Smiling, I teased him, “now, we have to talk to our parents.”

“Right! My parents would be difficult. They are very conservative,” replied Ritvik with all seriousness.

I hit him playfully on his chest and shouted, “you idiot! Who says things like that after proposing?”

He smirked, “kidding!” He hugged me again and I placed my head happily on his chest. Now we were engaged, and he promised that he would get me a real ring soon.

We were living in our bubble when one day to surprise me my family came to visit. The earth slipped from under their feet when they learned that a boy was living with me. Even if they knew him, it didn’t matter to them. A live-in relationship is frowned upon. That moment was chaotic. They were angry, sad, disappointed. My dad was in shock, he could not speak a single word. But my mom could only speak via her hands. Slap after slap kept landing on my cheeks, my shoulder, and my back.

Slaps didn’t hurt me, NK. What hurt me was Ritvik kept standing in a corner like a hurt bird, staring at my mother assaulting me and he did nothing. Not even a word. Not even when my mother asked if he wanted to marry me. Not even a word when my mother asked him to get out and he walked out of the house without a single word.

After my mother threw him out, I fought with her. We exchanged words that we still regret to this day. She wished that I would have died. I wished that I had a different mother. I rebuked, I snapped at her, I pleaded with her, I begged her to accept my relationship, but both my parents refused. They were against my relationship with Ritvik because he was younger than me, because he was immature.

They left me alone to cry and stopped talking with me for months. I too was angry, and I never called them. Apeksha would call me secretly and tell me about them. She would say that they were always sad because of me.

You know, they were always proud of me. I was their happiness, their pride but now I was the reason they were always sad. They stopped going out, meeting with relatives. They would just all their time in their house, sitting idly and sad.

But I was drunk on love. All I cared about was Ritvik. All I wanted was him in my life. I wanted to marry him at any cost.

The day he was thrown out of my house, he came back that night. I broke the moment I saw him. He held me in his arms while I vented my emotions. He assured me that he would talk to his family about us and that he would never leave me alone.

Stupid me, forgot that he left me alone to get assaulted by my mother. He didn’t even say a single word, he never replied to her queries, and when asked to leave he left instantly. And here he was promising never to leave me.

Life went on and tragedy kept striking. Due to him taking leave every now and then, he was fired from his job. He only had his savings so he asked me if he could permanently move with me. My family was already angry at me, they were not talking to me, what worst could happen? So, I said yes, and he shifted with me.

We sold the things he didn’t need, and his savings grew. For a few months, he would buy groceries as he would feel bad that he was living in my apartment for free. I teased him that he was always living there for free. But that was like putting gasoline on a fire. He chided me.

That day he was extremely rude. His words cut me deep. He left me in tears and walked out of the house. The whole night he didn’t come back. I could not sleep or eat without finding him. I went out at night to find him. Frantically I kept looking in nearby parks and hotels but could not find him.

Crying I came back home and found him sitting on our stairs. I punched and slapped him and kept crying for giving me a fright. As usual, he apologised and like a fool, I forgave him, again.